Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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