Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize