Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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