Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
