After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Randomize
