I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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