no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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