he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
