I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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