i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
