i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
My bed smells like the plague
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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