idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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