Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
