If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i just had sex bonerless
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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