I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
