I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
