he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
