C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize