yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
i believe in u and ur pee
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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