I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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