you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
