This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
