last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
