I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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