Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
