I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
