You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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