hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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