theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize