Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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