Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
