DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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