i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
