is wine microwaveable?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
