We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Randomize
