his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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