Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
