I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
