i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize