it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
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