hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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