Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
