just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
