But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize