Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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