This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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