she looked like the before picture.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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