and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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