you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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