I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
