i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
