God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
