I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Randomize
