the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Help. Why am I so naked?
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