we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
