My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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