my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
