At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I know her cup size but not her name....
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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