oh god the rape fog is back!
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
